Who gets to choose?
by wishfulthinkingisme
Summary: DTBH Leland Chapman falls for T but the world seems to be against them. Contains some scenes describing sexual assault and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Leland Blaine Chapman, I swear to God I will kill you myself if you ever scare me like that again!" I was standing toe to toe with him and he towered over me. I'm only 5 foot so I suppose it's fair to say that most people do. I was furious, I could feel the tears filling my eyes and I swiped them away impatiently. He tried to wrap his arms around me but I stepped back away from him. "Don't! Don't you dare think that you can just put your arms around me and I will forget. You scared me. I thought I was going to lose you!" The tears were rolling down my face and I couldn't stop them. I wasn't supposed to be out with the team today but I'd decided at the last minute to tag along. The fugitive they'd gone after had a gun and he'd lost it when he saw the guys turn up. He spotted me by the cars and turned the gun on me. I guess he figured that if you of us got hurt he could make a run for it. Leland's dad screamed down the radio what was happening. I turned to run when I saw Leland sprinting right towards the guy. I yelled at him to stop but he didn't listen and jumped on the guy as he pulled the trigger. The bullet grazed my shoulder but the police said later that if Leland hadn't done what he did that it probably would have gone straight through my chest.

"You thought you were going to lose me? He had a gun on you! He shot you! Jesus, T. I was terrified. If I could have swapped places with you I would have. I don't like feeling helpless." Thats when I noticed that he was crying. He never cried. He hadn't even cried when his granddad had passed away. I stepped closer and gently wiped away his tears. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

I'm not sure how long we stood like that. At some point we moved to the sofa where I curled up on his lap and I continued to cry for the both of us. I think it was shock. Eventually the tears stopped and we just sat there. He inspected the stitches the doctor had put in my shoulder and the cut on my forehead from where I'd banged my it as I fell. Apparently I had a black eye now too but I hadn't seen that yet.

It was hard knowing that situations like that were normal for him. The only reason this one had scared him at all was because I was there. I wasn't sure if I should be scared or flattered by it: he truly valued my life over his own. How would I have explained that to his children? Your dad thought my life was worth more than his so he took a bullet for me. How would I have explained that to my unborn child? The one he still didn't know about. I was 4 months pregnant and right then wasn't the time to tell him that. I think he would have flip his lid if he knew that I was pregnant during this whole thing.

We hadn't discussed children. We'd only been a couple for about 6 months. Leland had 2 boys from his marriage. Yes, my boyfriend was technically a married man. The boys, Dakota and Cobie, were his world. They were the reason we met originally. I was his kids babysitter. Clichéd I know but it's true. I was 15 when we met. His wife had walked out on their marriage and his stepmom had recommended me to him. I'd babysat his little brother and sister for a while and they loved me so Leland had hired me to watch the kids after school and all weekend.

At first I wasn't sure but about all the hours but then I laid eyes on Leland and it was all worth it. Leland was gorgeous. The stereotypical tall, dark and handsome except that to most people he didn't seem that tall. He was about 5 foot 6, long dark hair and absolutely beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He was covered head to toe in tattoos and looked tough and mean. When he talked to me though he was a true sweetheart. He called me sweetheart, darlin' or Sugar from the very first day. He'd come and pick me up and open the car door for me and he talked to me like I was an adult.

We were friends from the very start. We talked about everything and nothing until the early hours then he'd sleep on the couch so I could crash in his bed. The second I was in his bed I was filled with desire. Usually I could control it but when I was surrounded by his smell and knowing he lay where I was night after night was just too much. It scared me how I felt so I tried to forget by going out with some guys from my school.

Thats when things went sour. I was on a date with a guy from school called Jason. I'd told Leland about it and he wasn't happy because he knew his family. He kept telling me they were bad news but I wouldn't listen. Leland had Jason pick me up from his house so he could check him out. I had his cell too. He'd made sure he put it in my bag himself. He said it was in case there was an emergency and he needed to get hold of me. I don't know why Leland was so paranoid this time but I'm glad he was.

Jason wouldn't keep his hands to himself and when I told him to stop he wouldn't. He called me a tease and tried putting his hands up my top. I kicked him in the stomach and ran. I heard him chasing me so I ran straight to the nearest shop and dialed Leland without even thinking. I don't remember what I said to him. I was sobbing and he kept me on the phone while he told Duane Lee, his brother, to watch the kids. I remember hearing the car door slam and his tires screeching on the driveway. He must have driven the whole way with his foot down.

He ran into the store and wrapped me in his arms. Thats when I truly broke down. I was 17 at that point and extremely innocent and naive. Leland took me back to his house and when I couldn't make my legs work to get me out of his car he came and carried me into the house. I clung to him and wouldn't let go. As far as I was concerned Leland had stopped Jason raping me, I felt safe with him and only him. He sat on the couch and cradled me in his lap. I remember him whispering into my hair that I was safe and he'd look after me. Duane Lee headed into the kitchen to find the box of green tea I kept there. I heard him banging around the kitchen looking for my favorite mug and then I heard him mumbling to himself about how my tea stunk and looked vile anyway. It brought a small smile to my face; he had always refused to make my tea before. By the time he brought it into the living room I was able to move to sit next to Leland. I made sure I kept touching him though. I put my hands on his legs and he kept his arm around me.

That was the first time that either of us was aware of the chemistry between us. I'm not sure why it became apparent then but it did. My skin tingled at his touch and I could feel it burning through me. I thought at first it might be that I was so grateful to him for saving me but it continued to happen even after that night. It was as if we'd somehow flipped a switch and couldn't turn it off again. The electricity continued to flow between us.

I was kicked out of home not long after that night. My parents thought I was sleeping around and stealing. They wouldn't believe me when I told them I was working and staying over when my boss was late. My parents were drug addicts and alcoholics. My mother tried to beat me for staying out in Leland's and when I hit her back for the first time they kicked me out. Again, I ran to Leland. I'm not sure why I kept running to him. I was close with his stepmother, his dad and even his uncle and his brother but it was always Leland who sprung to mind first. He took me in straight away and even gave me his bedroom. He slept in Duane Lee's room when Duane Lee wasn't around and on the couch when he was. He was the perfect gentleman.

For nearly 4 years we tried to ignore the sexual tension between us. We pretended we were just friends even though neither of us so much as went out on a date for over 3 years. How he managed it I will never know. Having shared his bed for 6 months it seemed unbelievable that he could go more than 3 years without the touch of a woman. We fell into a routine at home and tried to avoid touching whenever possible. There was so much unspoken between us but we both understood what are boundaries were.

For my 21st birthday his dad and his wife, Beth, babysat Dakota and Cobie while Leland, Duane Lee and Duane Lee's wife took me out. We went out for dinner and then on to a club. We were dancing and enjoying ourselves when some girls came and tried hitting on Leland. He was being polite, telling them he wasn't interested but they wouldn't listen. They kept touching him no matter how much he tried to get them to stop. I saw red, I flipped. How dare they? He was dancing with me, touching me, holding me so close I knew for certain he was pleased to be there with me and they wouldn't listen. I walked over, grabbed Leland and pulled him against my body. I smirked at the 2 girls who were staring at me. "I'm not as polite as him so fuck off now and leave my man alone before I claw your skanky eyes out. Is that clear enough for you?" I pulled Leland's face down to meet mine and kissed him. I kissed him the way I'd wanted to for years, the way I thought I'd never be able to and to my complete delight he kissed me back. I thought he'd be horrified by what I'd just done but he seemed pleased. He was 30 and I was 21, he'd known me for years. This shouldn't be happening but it felt too right not to let it.

When I pulled away from him the girls were gone and Duane Lee and his wife were staring at us. Duane Lee pulled Leland to the bar and I took a trip to the ladies with Sara, his wife. When we got there she instantly pulled me to the mirrors and started re-applying my make up. "What was that about? You kissed him T!" She was genuinely shocked by it.

"I know and it felt amazing, like there was nobody else in the world but us. I never thought I'd be brave enough to kiss him but I don't regret it." I couldn't stop smiling at her. She wasn't smiling back though and eventually my smile started to falter. What had I done to upset her so badly?

"So what happens now? Do you stay living there? Start playing mummy to his kids? Have the happily ever after? What do you want from this?" She was angry at me and I couldn't quite figure out why. I hadn't done anything wrong and it hurt that she was being so mean and sarcastic.

"I don't know Sara. What do you want me to say? I did what felt right and natural. It still feels right and Leland wasn't a victim by the way. He was more than willing. I love him!" I was shocked by what I'd just said. I knew it was true and I was excited by it. I should have been scared by that fact but I wasn't. Sara's mood seemed to instantly change. It was like the storm had lifted and the sun was breaking through the clouds. She smiled at me and hugged me close to her. The change was so swift that it made my head spin.

"I'm sorry T. We just had to know that this wasn't going to be some fling. You two are too closer to spoil it like that. It's about time you two got your act together though. You make the most amazing couple!" She released me from the bone crushing hug and started pulling me back into the club. That woman could be so confusing sometimes.

Duane Lee and Leland were leaning against the bar. Leland had a goofy smile plastered all over his face but Duane Lee was angry. "Dude, what were you thinking? She's 21 and obviously has a crush on you! Why are you encouraging her?" He was shouting because he was furious rather than to be heard over the music. Leland should have known better. It wasn't just his feelings that were involved. The whole family cared about T and if she got hurt over this there would be hell to pay!

"I wasn't thinking. She kissed me and I kissed her back. I don't see the problem with it to be honest and anyway, maybe it's not a crush? Maybe this is real for both of us!" Did I just say that? Shit, I did and it's true. This isn't just some game or some drunken one night stand. "I love her!"

It was at that moment that the girls came out of the bathroom. The full implications of what he'd only just realized hadn't sunk in yet. How had he gone from hiring this girl as a babysitter to loving her in one giant step?

I walked towards him and slid my arms around his waist. It felt natural to do it now even though 10 minutes ago I wouldn't have dreamed of it. Something had changed during that kiss that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Even though I was still nervous about touching him there was no hesitation about it. Maybe admitting to my feelings had made this possible?

He wrapped his strong, muscular arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I felt truly alive then. I breathed in deep and enveloped myself in that scent that was uniquely him. He smelt like soap and shampoo but underneath all of that was him. To me it smelt like the sky after a storm and the beach at sunrise all rolled into one. I know that wasn't possible but it's what his unique scent made me think of. I found myself thinking how bizarre it was that I was even attracted to his scent. Even when he came home after a session at the gym I was liked the way the air smelt around him. although after the gym he smelt like what I thought sex would smell like. That unique, utterly masculine scent made me go weak at the knees. Leland had never smelt bad, not once in all the years I'd know him.

"Earth to T, come in T," I smiled up at him wondering exactly what I'd missed. "Do you want another drink?"

"Oh, erm, yes please." I felt myself starting to blush and I begged my body to stop but it wouldn't. My face started to burn as I felt him watching me. I could see that he was trying to figure out why I was so embarrassed and then it was as if a light bulb went off in his head.

He leaned into me and laughed. I felt a shiver run down my spine as he did. "My gorgeous girl, were you just thinking sexy thoughts about me?" I blushed even more and couldn't bring myself to answer him. How could I be so bold one minute and then so shy the next? "Would you like to spend the night with me T?" His soft voice slid over my entire body giving me goosebumps. My mouth was so dry that I couldn't have spoken even if I wanted to so I just nodded my agreement. He kissed me on the forehead then and I felt this sudden urge to pay him back for laughing at me. So I ran my nails from his neck to the base of his spine and felt him shiver and try to hold still. I couldn't help but smirk at him when he turned to face me with his eyes burning with desire. We didn't stay long after that.

That night was our first night together. Duane Lee and Sara gave us their hotel room while they went to babysit for us. It was a first for so many reasons: my first time with Leland, the first time someone told me they loved me and the first night I'd spent in a bed with anybody. Leland was so gentle and loving with me. He made sure I was happy and comfortable with everything that was happening.

I woke up the next morning snuggled against Leland's chest. At some point his hair had come out of its braid and was now fanned across my breasts and stomach. I lay there and watched him sleep for the longest time. He looked so angelic. His long dark eyelashes brushed his cheek and his full, tender lips were parted slightly. The morning sun was bathing the room and it showed me the flecks of red in his hair and the redness of his lips for the first time. I realized then that I could have lay there just watching him sleep for hours. Usually he looked so masculine and tough but right at that moment the only word to describe him was beautiful. I was so happy and content in that moment that I remember thinking that I was dreaming because it felt too perfect but then he stretched and opened one eye. "Morning Sugar."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**I am updating all of my chapters at the moment to try and improve them so please keep going back to check if anything has changed.**

A week or so later I figured it was about time that I told Leland the truth. He was bound to notice soon enough anyway. I was getting bigger by the day. I sprung it on him in the car on the way to drop off a fugitive at the jail. We were alone in the car "Leland, I'm pregnant." I'm not sure why I felt the need to just blurt it out but I was nervous. I could feel my eyes filling with hot tears. He slammed the brakes on in the middle of the street. "Lee, please don't be mad at me. I didn't plan this, I just thought you deserved to know. If it's too much I'll understand but I'm not getting rid of it so please don't suggest that."

"What sort of man do you think I am? I wouldn't even consider asking that of you! And I know you didn't plan this T. I'm not mad. I'm shocked and a little upset that you thought this would change us." The cars behind us started honking their horns so we pulled away again. "How long have you known though? Did you know last week when that creep pulled a gun on you?"

He knew I couldn't lie to him. "Yes. I found out that morning. I was scared so I thought I'd give myself a few hours to take it in and then that happened and you were so scared already I didn't want to make it worse for you. I've been trying to tell you since then but I could never find the right time." I was watching my hands twist together in my lap. I hadn't expected this conversation to be so nerve racking. I never once thought that he would be so calm and laid back like that. "I know we've never talked about it before but are you OK with this? It's just everything is moving so quickly that if you want me to move out for a while then that's OK with me." I was rambling and I couldn't help it.

"Why would I want that? Having a child is such an amazing miracle, why would I ever want you to leave me. You are giving me this amazing gift and you can't even look at me. Do you want to leave? Is that it?" Now it was his turn to sound nervous. Leland thought that his tenderness and sweet nature were weaknesses and so he was always under the impression that there was something wrong with him. We balanced out each others insecurities usually.

"NO! I love living with you. It's just that I know how much hassle everyone gave you when we got together about my age and now this. I was just trying to make things easier for you, that's all." I looked at him shyly from under my long, thick black eyelashes. He was grinning from ear to ear. That one smile melted my heart all over again. I would do almost anything to see him smile like that. He could be so serious sometimes that it was easy to forget what a wonderful, funny loving guy he was too.

"You my darlin' are crazy, beautiful and amazing!" he took my hand and brought it to his lips so he could kiss my fingers. We spent the rest of the drive in contented silence. As we pulled up outside the jail he broke that blissful quiet. "Can we tell the others? I mean, is it safe? Are you passed the 3 months?" His concern was evident in the tone of his voice. He was trying hard to contain his excitement until he had the answers to the rest of his questions. He was so practical all the time. it was like that part of his brain couldn't switch off.

"Yes, it's safe. I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and of course you can tell the others!" I smiled at him and opened the car door. Before I could even swing my legs out of his giant Hummer he was there lifting me into his arms. He kissed me as he put me on my feet. The gentleman in him didn't match his image but then he was full of contradictions.

"I think I may have to invest in a more practical car soon. Although the images in my head of you rather more pregnant trying to climb into this are so cute" He laughed as I smacked him on the arm. "Admit it. It would be a little bit funny." I chase him around the car and finally catch him stealing a kiss for my efforts. I knew he'd let me catch him. Leland could outrun anybody when the mood took him. I'd even seen him beat Duane Lee in an unfair race: Leland's feet against Duane Lee's motorbike.

We walked hand in hand towards the others. He could tell I was nervous because my entire body was shaking. He squeezed my hand as Duane Lee came out of the prison with a folder full of paperwork tucked under his arm. "Hey guys, listen up a minute. We've got something to tell y'all." he paused dramatically to make sure he had their full attention. It wasn't necessary because everybody knew that Leland was so shy normally that for him to be asking for an audience it had to be important. "T's pregnant." There was a stunned silence before the cheers and congratulations started. The only one who didn't seem pleased to hear the news was Beth. She hung back from the group and barely spoke and she never once looked at us in the eyes.

Later that night, when we were finally alone I questioned him about Beth's strange reaction. "What's with her? Why was she so down on us?"

"Beth always thought that I'd end up back with the kids mum. She's never tried to hide her feelings either. She likes you and she keeps calling you a good kid whenever I talk about you but I guess she still thinks of you as just that; a kid. She's got it into her mind that you are a phase and I'd get bored and go running back to the big island. I think it just threw her a little now that she had to accept that that's not going to happen." While he spoke she wondered around their apartment taking out dishes and moving laundry.

"So basically she thought you'd just fuck me for a bit and then get bored with my lack of experience and go running home?" I deliberately tried to keep my voice calm. I'd used the most vulgar way I could to get my point across. I couldn't understand why he wasn't angry about this. He should have been furious!

"Yeah, something like that but that's not going to happen. I could never get bored with you. I love you." His voice washed over me, soothing my temper. I hated that he could do that to me. In that moment I wanted to be angry with her.

"I'm not angry for me Leland. I'm angry that she thought so little about you. That she thought you'd be capable of that." I felt calmer now, I put my hand over my stomach protectively. Leland meant the world to me and he didn't deserve this attitude.

"T, I was that guy. Before I got married I slept around. I didn't care. Then I met the boys mum and I tried settling down but I couldn't. I cheated on her until she finally had enough and kicked me out. That is when I met you and that all changed. I wasn't looking for other women; they didn't even hit my radar. You were the only woman I saw and I couldn't have you. It was like God was getting his own back on me. I'd gone from having anyone I wanted to not being able to even tell the woman I love how I felt." He couldn't even look at me. "So you see, it's not Beth's fault that she sees the worst in me. Everyone does. I made sure that they did and now I have to pay the price. You are the only person who always manages to see the best in me." He looked into my eyes then and must have seen something he didn't like. "I would never do that to you, I promise. You are my world. You and my 3 kids, that's all I need." He tried to put his hand over mine on my stomach but I stepped away from him. I watched the hurt I'd just caused him flash across his eyes and I didn't care. In that instant I wanted him to hurt and I didn't even know why.

"Why haven't you told me this before?" I was angry at him now. In fact I was more than angry, I was furious! He'd kept this from me and I couldn't help thinking that the reason for doing so was purely selfish. If he'd done it before then why wouldn't he do it to me?

"I wanted to spare you from it. You didn't need to know what a heartless bastard I'd been before I met you" He was trying to convince himself. I could tell by his eyes that he wasn't sure. He knew deep inside that that wasn't why he hadn't told me.

"Stop lying Leland. Tell me the truth before I convince myself that the right thing to do is walk out of that door." I couldn't figure out why I was so angry about this. He hadn't done anything to make me not trust him in the years that I'd know him but right at that moment I felt insecure. I felt like he'd just pulled the safety net out from under me while I was half way across the high wire. I was starting to panic and I couldn't stop myself. Did he really love me like he said he did? I bet he'd told his ex wife, Maui, similar things.

"OK. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to judge me. I wanted you to find out who I was before you figured out what a slime ball I'd been. I thought that if you knew then you'd think that that was all I wanted from you. I wanted you to love me and I didn't think you would if you knew." He was almost crying. I could see the tears in his eyes and hear them in is voice. He had a reputation for being a tough guy so why was he on the verge of crying. That's when it hit he that he thought he may have lost me because of his past. I felt bad then for hurting him. I wanted to pull him into my arms and make him forget how I'd just made him feel. I knew in my head that it was just my hormones but it scared me that my emotions were switching so rapidly and so severely.

"You have to promise me something OK? Promise that if you ever do feel like that again you'll tell me first so I can walk away. That's all I ask, that you give me the chance to hold on to my pride." It was my turn to cry now. I was crying at the thought of him saying those words to me. I was crying at the thought of not having him in my life and I was crying for the pain I'd just caused him.

"There won't ever come a time for that. You are everything to me T." He took me in his arms then. He was certain of that. Since the day she first hit his radar she had been the only woman to register on it. Even when they weren't together physically he hadn't been with anyone else. If it wasn't T then he wasn't interested.

"Just promise." I whispered against his chest.

"I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**I am updating the chapters regularly to try and improve them so be sure to keep checking back and I hope you enjoy. Please note that this chapter does involve the discussion of a rape. I tried to make it as mild as that subject could possibly be and I apologize if it offends anyone.**

A few days later I was still feeling a little raw from Leland's bomb shell. I knew he'd slept with a few women but I didn't think it had been as many as it was. When I'd pinned him down on a number I was heartbroken. He'd slept with nearly 100 women! That scared me; it planted a seed in my mind that maybe I wouldn't be enough for him.

It was still tense between him and Beth too. She was being cold towards me and that grated with him. The situation was going to boil over if they weren't careful. He could handle her being weird with him over this but he didn't like anybody treating me badly. It was as if she blamed me for him and Maui separating. It had nothing to do with me. Maui had left him while he was in prison in Mexico. Dog, Tim and Leland had traveled down there to arrest Andrew Luster: a rapist who had jumped bail. When they eventually caught him the Mexican police arrested them too for false imprisonment. So when he was locked up for being brave and protecting people who couldn't protect themselves she had taken his kids and walked away. She effectively left him to rot. I'm not sure how Beth could blame me for what that evil bitch had done but apparently she did.

"Leland, we've got a few guys over on the big island that have jumped so you and Duane Lee are going over to take care of that." Beth shouted from her small office. I could see the anger written all over Leland's face. She was deliberately pushing his buttons today and it was working. I could feel his temper rising.

"No, I'm not Beth. Are you fucking kidding me? I find out my girl is pregnant not even a week ago and now you're sending me away for god knows how long! What are you thinking? Have you gone completely crazy?" He was trying very hard to keep the anger from his voice because he knows how much it upsets me but it wasn't working. He was furious!

"Listen bra, these are your jumps so you are going to fix it. Life goes on when someones pregnant. She's not the first and she probably won't be the last." She was heading out of her office and I could tell she wasn't happy. She had been baiting with since the day she found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure why she wanted to fight with Leland but it looked like she'd finally pushed him too far. He knew I was still feeling fragile about his recently revelations and that last comment had scored her a bullseye!

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is her first Beth, I'm not leaving her! You can sack me if you want but that's all I'm saying on the matter. Hell or high water won't move me on this! I am not leaving T so drop it!" He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of head. Touching me always calms him down. He was shaking with anger. I hated being the reason he was fighting with his family but I knew none of this was my fault. It was Beth's problem; I just hadn't figured out exactly what that problem was.

"So take the kid with you if it means that much." Beth snarled as she headed back into her office. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. I'd had enough. I had always been so close to Beth before all of this and I couldn't understand why she was being so mean.

"I'm not some kid, Beth. I know you don't like us being together but thats tough shit! Leland has made his choice and he chose me so stop hoping for your own idea of his happily ever after because it's not happening. No matter how much you try and convince him otherwise he loves me so maybe you should just accept it now." I felt the tears run down my face as I spoke. I was angry with myself for crying but I had said what I needed to. I loved Beth; she was like a big sister to me but I wouldn't stand by and watch her try to take my family apart. I looked up at Leland then. "You go. I'll be OK and you're only a 20 minute flight away if I need anything. You can't be with me 24 hours a day Lee. I trust you." I wasn't sure if I completely believed that but I had to learn to trust him again. He'd never given me a reason not too. I just had to learn to leave his past alone.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to get Baby Lyssa to stay while I'm gone?" He said, his words were muffled against my hair. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. Whenever I was wrapped in his arms I felt to protected and loved. He would never let anyone hurt me. I took a deep breath and I could picture myself stood on the beach by our home at sunrise watching the storm clouds roll away while Leland wrapped me in his arms. The tears stopped eventually and I reluctantly lifted my face to look at him. I felt like I was the only person in the whole world when he was looking at me like this.

"Lee, I am trying to show your family that I'm having a baby and not being one." I giggled at my own joke. "I'm going to be fine. I'm just going to miss you like crazy. Did you know we haven't spent a night apart since that first night together?"

"Trust me, Sugar, I'm aware of that. It's the memories of those nights that are going to stop me going crazy while I'm gone." He kissed me then and I knew that he meant it. I could feel the passion he felt about us in that single kiss. He was pressed himself against me. The tiny person growing inside me was surround by the 2 people who loved it the most. I could tell by that kiss alone how much he was going to miss me.

"Down boy." I whispered against his mouth before nipping his bottom lip between my teeth. I pulled away from him then and ran across the office. I knew he'd chase me because it was one of our favorite games. He didn't though. As I ran away the bell above the door rang and a warm breeze whipped through the office.

"What the FUCK do you want?" Leland growled. He was trying to control his temper and he was failing miserably. I spun around trying to figure out what could have made his mood change so swiftly. That's when I saw Jason standing in the door way. Leland was stood about 6 ft away from him. He had widened his stance and his arms were loose at his sides. His whole body looked relaxed and it certainly didn't match his voice. I recognized his stance from when I used to watch with sparring. He was standing like the MMA fighter I knew he was. He was getting ready to lunge at Jason.

"Oh shit! DUANE LEE! Get in here right now! Your brothers going to kill someone!" I screamed as I ran to Leland and grabbed his arm. "Baby, leave it. He's not worth this. Please just calm down." I was trying to pull him backwards but he wouldn't move. I was pulling at him as hard as I could but he didn't even move an inch. Leland had won several awards during his time as a professional MMA fighter and boxer; he was deadly and he was preparing to seriously hurt Jason. I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop him either.

"I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION!" he growled at Jason. Jason simply smirked. I think that tipped Leland over the edge. He started forward while I was still pulling him backwards, it felt like he hadn't even noticed my efforts. Then suddenly Duane Lee was stood between the 2 men. "Bro, get out of my way. I'm going to tear him apart. I swear." Leland's voice was cold. There didn't seem to be any emotion there at all. It was as if all of the other sections of his brain had switched off except the one that wanted to hurt Jason. Each word was pronounced carefully and slowly. It sounded like even talking was an effort for him at that point. The red mist had descended and that was all that mattered now.

I dropped his arm and backed away from him. I'd only heard one other mans voice go like that and I'd buried those memories as deep as I possibly could. My back slammed against the wall and I slid down it. I wrapped my arms around my knees and felt the silent tears start to fall. I wasn't in our office anymore. I was watching myself crying in my room at my parents house. The room was totally destroyed around me but it didn't matter, nothing did. I felt like my throat was closing around my sobs and I couldn't breath. I was panicking but that seemed to make it worse.

"Dude, your woman is in bits. Deal with her, she needs you. I've got this." Duane Lee gave Leland a shove and then stood in front of Jason with his arms folded across his massive chest. "Now, like my brother said, what the FUCK do you want?"

"I've got a message for T." Jason said like it was the most natural thing in the world. He didn't look scared or angry. If anything he looked bored.

"Ha, man, are you honestly that stupid? Do you think you're getting anywhere near that girl? You take one more step towards her and I'm going to rip your twiglet arms out of their sockets and beat you about the head with them. Understood?" The scary part is that he meant it. Duane Lee was the polar opposite of Leland when it came to their builds. Duane Lee was around 6ft tall and wide across the shoulder. He lifted weights a lot and was a mass of solid muscle. His huge arms could barley fold across the barrel like mass of his chest.

"Fine, you get to tell her. Just tell her that Billy is out. She'll understand." He turned and walked out the office without another word. I can't say I blamed him though. Duane Lee thought of he as his sister and even I was still a little scared of him. He was known as the BFG to the family because he wouldn't hurt a hair on any of our heads.

Leland was sat on the floor next to me with his arms wrapped around me. He was rocking me as I sobbed. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. I'd never hurt you. Please forgive me." As he spoke I fought to just breath. I needed to get control of myself for my babies sake. The whole team had come in during the altercation. Dog and Tim were by the back door, Beth was leaning against her office door and Justin and Baby Lyssa were sat on T's desk. They were all looking confused.

"I...It wasn't y...you" I sobbed. "Th...that cold v...voice just brought back some st...stuff." I tried to concentrate on my breathing. Slowly I got it back under control. "I'm sorry guys, I guess I am the baby after all huh?" I laughed. I figured that if I acted like it was nothing then maybe I could bury it all again.

"No, you're not. T, Jason asked me to give you message though." Duane Lee looked nervous now. I knew he didn't want to upset me and that he'd probably even considered not tell me but he couldn't keep a secret from me. He never had been able to.

"What?" I didn't even look over at his. I kept my face buried in Leland neck. I was trying to picture us on the beach but all I could see was that room and the blood. Eventually I just kept my eyes open hoping that would help.

"He said I'm to tell you that Billy's out. He said you'd understand." Duane Lee came and sat on the other side of me. Suddenly I felt deathly cold and I couldn't stop shaking. "Bro, she's going into shock! Dad, grab those blankets out the car. Lyssa, make her a milky coffee with plenty of sugar and a shot of whiskey from the bottle on my desk. SHIT! No whiskey; she's pregnant! Leland, help me get her to the couch." Duane Lee took charge of everything, being ex military he was good in an emergency.

Leland refused to let me go so I was sat on his knee wrapped in blankets. He was holding my coffee because my hands wouldn't stop shaking. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He was talking just for me. I'm not sure how long we'd been sat there for but I was starting to feel a little warmer.

"I think I do but please don't be mad at me." I was fighting the tears already. I hated to cry in front of everyone. "You know I told you that you were the first person I'd ever had sex with? Well, that's not true exactly. You're the first person I'd made love to. The only one that I ever wanted to have sex with." I couldn't look at him. I felt dirty and cheap. I still blamed myself and I thought he would too when he knew.

"Darlin' look at me, it's OK. I kind of guessed anyway. I mean when we..." he looked around at his family and started to blush. "When we made love that night there was no blood and it didn't seem to hurt like it would have if you'd been a virgin. I mean, I'm not a big guy but I'm not small either so I guessed I wasn't the first." He felt embarrassed talking about this in front of his family. Baby Lyssa was crying and he didn't understand why. He wasn't angry or upset so why was she crying. It was none of her business.

"Leland, shut up. She's not telling you she'd had sex before; she's telling you she was raped." Lyssa took my hand. "It's OK T. You're safe now. we won't let anyone hurt you. I promise."

I looked around the room and everyone was looking at me with pity in their eyes except Leland. He had tears running down his face. "Why didn't you tell me? I mean that night when we... I knew you were scared but I didn't understand. I would have been more gentle, I would have looked after you better. Jesus, T I'm so sorry!" I couldn't stand the thought of him thinking he had done something wrong. He was perfect.

"Don't you dare! Leland Chapman I mean it! That night was perfect. You were everything I'd been dreaming of for the 6 fucking years before it! I didn't tell you because I wanted you to enjoy it and not be worrying about what I was thinking or what memories it brought back. I have never felt more loved and protected as I do when we're together. I know your family don't need to know this but you are so gentle and tender that I could never ask for a more perfect lover. So don't cry for that unless it's tears of happiness." I stroked his face and made him look at me. "Leland, you are my angel. You make me feel like a princess and you've taught me what making love is. I just wish I could have been more experienced so I could please you the way you do me." I smiled shyly at him then. When I was looking into his eyes the memories didn't seem that bad. I knew that it was in the past and that he wouldn't ever let anything hurt me now.

I looked around the room and made eye contact with each of them. Piece by piece I drew strength from them all. They would stand between me and all the hurt in the world. These people loved me. Even Beth who I had been screaming at not even 20 minutes ago would stand in the storm for me.

He laughed then and it brought my face back to him. "Sugar, if you pleased me anymore I think I'd have trouble leaving the bedroom! You are the best lover I've ever had. We fit together perfectly so stop beating yourself up." Maybe we shouldn't have been talking about that right then but it helped me. I'd buried everything for so long that it wasn't fresh to me. Now that I had all these people around me I was starting to up each little piece of me back into place. Minute by minute they rebuilt me without even realizing.

"OK, now that we've all had a look at our sex life I think it's time I shared this. If you don't want to hear this then nows the chance to leave." I couldn't believe how strong my voice sounded now. I knew I needed this but I also knew that I wanted to protect these people from hurting like they were protecting me.

"We aren't going anywhere T. We're all here for you." Duane Lee put his hands on my shoulders and Lyssa squeezed my hand. I snuggled into Leland and took a deep breath. I was playing with the braid in his hair. It always relaxes me. I usually fall asleep with his hair spread over me. There touch along with Leland's presence made it easier for me to find my voice. I figured out that if I just let the words come without trying to picture it then I could do this.

"I was about 12. Mum and Dad were in heavy with the drugs and they'd just go out looking for a fix. It didn't matter who was in the house with me, they'd just leave. Sometimes I was alone but a lot of the time Billy was there or he'd turn up when they were out. I remember trying to tell Mum that I didn't like Billy. He was always touching me and when he spoke he was so close that I could smell the Ice on his breath. She wouldn't listen though. She told me that I needed to learn to like her friends because they were good people." I shivered and Leland kissed my shoulder. I pictured the beach after the storm then and I felt my heart slow down and my breathing started to slow too. "It got to the point that I'd lock my door whenever he was around. He'd come and pound on the door telling me he wanted to talk or that he had a present for me but I never opened the door. I swear, I never did!" I don't know why but it was so important to me that they believed me.

"We know, Princess. It's OK. We know you tried your hardest, our little wild cat." Tim spoke but his voice was shaking, like he was fighting back the tears. I still couldn't bring myself to look at them. My eyes were fixed on Leland's hair in my hands. I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I was dirty and I was embarrassed by it.

"I guess one day I must have fell asleep on my bed by accident without locking my door. I remember waking up to that horrid, sweet smell of Ice. I remember thinking then that I was in trouble. He was sat on my bed. I scrambled up but he just smiled. 'I guess you decided to play after all huh? My little doll' he said to me. His words were slurred and I could barely make them out." I retched then and thought I was honestly about to vomit for a second. That memory was way too clear. I buried my face in Leland's neck and breathed him in. I was trying desperately to clear my head of that picture. When I finally spoke again I could hear my voice shaking. "He always told my Dad that I looked like one of those porcelain dolls with my red curly hair and big blues eyes." I let a single tear fall then. "Anyway, he'd locked my door and took the key so I couldn't get out. I just sat there while he stroked my face, telling me my skin was like cream. I didn't know what to do. His fingers felt like sand paper. I remember him pushing me on the bed then. It was like something had switched in his brain. He was calling me names and ripping at my clothes. I tried to fight him but he punched me. I just wasn't strong enough. I blacked out because when I came round he was already inside me. It hurt so bad. I've never felt anything like it! I was lay there. I should have fought him some more. I should of done something. I let him." I was shouting now. I was so angry with myself.

"NO! Now you listen to me T. That wasn't your fault. You tried your hardest. If you'd have fought him he could have killed you. It wasn't your fault. Don't you ever think that." Tim was speaking again but I was still remembering. I had to get this out before I broke completely. I needed to share it and then bury it before it consumed me.

"When he was done he stood up and got dressed. He threw $10 on my bed and walked out laughing. I remember looking at my bed and seeing so much blood. It was everywhere. I hadn't even had a period then. I was so scared. I didn't want Mum and Dad to be mad at me for making a mess. How fucking stupid is that? So I bundled all the bedding up and put it in the laundry. When I went back to my room I was angry. I shredded the money he'd threw and trashed my whole room. I was furious! I don't remember much else then except that I couldn't even cry, why couldn't I cry? I should have cried, shouldn't I?" I looked at them all then and they were all crying for me. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I'm OK now." I didn't want them to be upset but it felt like now that they were all sharing my pain that I didn't have to feel it all. I could let each of them carry a piece of it for me.

"It's OK that you didn't cry T." Justin was kneeling in front of me next to Baby Lyssa. "You dealt with it the only way you could. You got angry and then you buried it. You weren't ready to deal with it then. You weren't safe enough. Now you can cry and your family can cry with you. It'll be OK now T. We'll make sure your safe." I smiled at him then. Justin was one of my best friends on the whole planet. He was like a big brother to me. I knew he was right but it felt weird. After hiding it for nearly 10 years I thought I would have been a wreck now but I wasn't. It hurt but it was something I could deal with.

"What did the police say?" Dog spoke, his voice gruff.

"Police? I didn't go to the police. Billy went to prison for raping a lady in the toilets of a local bar. He did it the same night he... that night. I've never told anyone besides you guys about it." I felt guilty about that lady but I couldn't have stopped what happened so I had kept quiet and made sure that nobody ever hurt me again.

"And now that bastard is walking around thinking he got away with it?" Duane Lee spoke. I could tell he was angry but it was the rage that was filling Leland's eyes that was scaring me. He looked like he wanted to kill somebody. In fact I think he would have if it wasn't for the fact that I was still sat on his knee.

"Lee, you have to let it go. I have. I'm happy and now I have no secrets. We have our baby to think about. Please, Lee. Just let it go. He can't hurt me any more. He can't touch me." I was begging him. I turned on his lap so that my legs were either side of him and we were face to face. "Leland." I took his hand and laid it against my stomach. "Listen to me now. That is over with. He would be stupid to even set foot on this island again, never mind come near me. We have a life together now and what happened to me isn't part of it. Just like your past, except the boys obviously, isn't part of it. Just go to the gym with DL, beat the shit out of something and then come back here to me. Come back as my" I leaned over and whispered in his ear "sexy, passionate, distracting, talented, adorable, sweet Lee. Come and get me and take me home so that you can make love to me, bury yourself in me and love me the way only you can. Come and help me put all of this back back where it belongs. In the past." When I sat up he was blushing but he was smiling too. I stood up then and pulled him to his feet. "Duane Lee, take him somewhere to use up all that anger. Leland, try not to hurt your brother."

"If he ever comes near you again T." He paused then trying to push the anger back down. "I don't think I could stop myself. I know I swore I would never back to prison but for that... for him I would go smiling." He kissed me and I knew he'd meant what he'd said. He would kill Billy without hesitation. I stayed wrapped in his arms for a long time. I knew he didn't want to leave but if he left all of that anger bubbling inside himself then he would hurt somebody without meaning too. He needed to go and get rid of it all the only way he knew how; by hitting something so he reluctantly let me go then and ran out the door to his car. I knew he wasn't happy about leaving me but he knew he needed to go. He thought I was strong and in control; how wrong could he have been? Once he left I dropped back onto the couch.

"You have to make him go to the big island, Dog. You have to because Billy is stupid enough to turn up here and if he does I don't think Leland would stop until he was dead." I was shaking again. I had to protect Leland. They had all just been so strong for me but now it was my turn. I had to hide my fears from Leland because if I didn't then he would get himself hurt. He'd be too distracted while out hunting and make a mistake so I had to pretend like I was OK and I had to get him away from here as soon as possible.

"It's going to be tough to make him leave, Princess. Especially now." He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. He knew I was right but he also knew his son. Leland wouldn't leave me now. I was his priority and that could potentially take away his life.

"I don't care how you do it, just get it done. My baby needs her dad and so do the boys." I stood up and headed for the front door. Justin was right next to me. "I'm just going for a walk on the beach to clear my head." I was angry now. I wasn't scared or hurt; I was just angry. Why did he have to come back and knock my life on it's ass again? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Leland would rip me into little pieces if I let you go off on your own right now." Justin held the door open and I smiled at him but I knew that the smile didn't reach my eyes. I didn't even bother trying to fake it. Justin knew me better than anyone except Leland.

"OK but Leland going to the big island isn't up for discussion." Even as I said it I knew it was pointless.

"He won't go and leave you here. He didn't want to go before all that came out. He'll fight tooth and nail against it now." Justin spoke softly. He was scared for his cousin. Leland had fought for years to control his temper and it felt like everything that had happened today had tore the scab from it and he was bleeding anger again. If he didn't leave this mess behind then we may all lose him one way or another.

"He will if I tell him I need some space. That dragging all this up has made me want to be on my own for a few days. He will if I tell him that I need to think about us." I could feel the tears building but refused to let them fall. I knew letting Leland walk away for those few days would cut me up inside but I couldn't think of another way to get him to leave. I thought that hurting us both was the only way to keep us both safe.

"That will crush him T! It will work but it will break his heart." Justin sounded horrified by the idea. He'd helped me pick up the pieces of Leland after Maui had walked away with their boys and he hadn't felt for her even close to what he felt for me.

"I would rather have him hurting for a few days than to have him locked away for 30 years. He'd kill him J and I couldn't live with myself." I couldn't stop the tears then. Leland was everything to me and his boys. I couldn't let his sacrifice his life that way. He wouldn't cope in prison without his family. We nearly lost him in Mexico and he had his dad and uncle with him then.

"So explain that to him or go over to the big island with him! If you go and leave DL here then we can track down this Billy and give him a not so friendly warning. Just don't put Leland through that. I don't think he'd cope." Justin sounded panicked.

"And what if Billy is on the big island? What happens then?" I was thinking about his plan. Leland had to be safe but if I could find away of doing it without hurting then that had to be better.

"Then you call us and we'll be right there. You can distract Leland. I know you can and then we'll be there to help. I promise T, it will work this way. Just trust me!" Justin was pleading with me. He stopped and looked into my eyes. He was almost as tall as Duane Lee so I tilted my head back to look up at him. I knew that he was praying I'd agree.

"OK, we'll do it your way but I swear Justin, if Leland gets hurt or ends up in trouble over this then I'm going to kill you myself. Understood?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Just a reminder that the chapters are being updated as I go. (Hopefully improving them) Thanks for reading though and feel free to review and tell me where I can improve.**

Beth gave Leland and me a few days off before we had to fly over to the big island which was known as Kona to most people. It had been decided that Duane Lee would still come with us but Eric and Wesley would fly over to replace him and Leland while they were gone. I know it seems silly but nobody knew the islands like Leland and he was better at getting information out of people than anyone I've ever met, even Dog.

While staying on Kona we would be living in Leland's old house. To say I wasn't too thrilled was an understatement. I don't think anyone would have been happy living in your other halves old marital home but I didn't really have a choice. While we were away I wouldn't be left alone at any point. I would either be at the office or have Leland or DL with me at all times. It was one of Leland's many demands before he'd agreed that we would go. It came along with me learning how to use a gun, agreeing to carry a mace can at the very least and wearing a bullet proof vest whenever we were out in public. I thought he was being paranoid but at least he was letting me go.

We spent our few days of rest on the beach or shopping. We'd go out in the morning and buy baby clothes, prams, car seats, new clothes for me etc. Basically anything I wanted he bought. He refused to let me pay for anything. In the afternoons we'd walk along the beach talking about baby names and how excited his sons were about the baby. It felt like heaven. Sometimes I could tell his thoughts weren't fully with me but I allowed him those moments. I'd had years to accept everything and he'd only had a few days.

I'd quit my job after I'd been shot because Leland didn't like not being able to look after me so I was a lady of leisure officially. Even though I spent my time doing paperwork, chasing leads and even going on bounties I wasn't actually part of their team. I didn't have a badge or a set of cuffs but I was one of them in every other sense. Leland didn't like me going out on hunts but he was out voted. Besides he hadn't had a problem with Baby Lyssa being out with them when she was 8 months pregnant so his arguments weren't valid. She had been climbing fences and dragging people out of cars just weeks before she gave birth and her kids were all perfectly healthy.

When we flew out it was nerve racking for me. I'd never been to Kona before and if I'm honest it was hard knowing the things that Leland used to do in the past were all linked to this island. I didn't let him see that though. I was trying to make him happy. He'd been withdrawn since I'd told him what had happened to me. He didn't touch me as much or kiss me. He'd even gone off sex a little. He said he was just tired but I wasn't sure. I tried not to dwell on it but I have to admit that it stung. As we drove up to our temporary home I was absolutely speechless!

The house was absolutely stunning. It was in the middle of nowhere and set in its own 3 acres of land. There was forests and fields all around and it even had its own road to access it and an electronic gate to keep strangers away. The house itself was 3 stories tall, it had huge floor to ceiling windows and a gorgeous front porch with a swing. All of the bedrooms upstairs had their own private balcony. I understood instantly why he didn't want to sell. I was in love with it before I even stepped foot inside.

"It's all just been decorated and had brand new furniture and new solid wood flooring. My bedroom used to be at the front but thats where DL will be from now on. Our bedroom is the whole top floor. It used to be my study but I like the views from up there so I juggled it around and had an en suite put in up there and new windows." He kept chatting as I looked around in awe. He'd knew that one day I'd come here so he'd changed everything. He'd wiped away every inch of her and started again. When you opened the front door you were stood in a massive entrance hall with a wide, winding staircase directly opposite. Through the door way on the left you could see the main living area. It was decorated in browns and teal with a huge, comfy corner couch and a 50 inch TV hung on the wall. It looked like I'd decorated. It was so me. To the right was the kitchen. I headed that way.

"It's OK guys, I'll get the bags. Don't you worry about a thing!" I could hear DL shouting from outside and couldn't help but giggle. We had just abandoned him but I knew he didn't really mind. He was the family pack horse according to Dog. Duane Lee could carry his own body weight in stuff comfortably.

The kitchen ran the entire length of the house. It had a range cooker and an old fashioned double sink. Even the work tops were solid marble in the exact color I liked. There was an island with all kinds of pots, pans and gadgets hanging above it. even in the kitchen Leland had to have all the latest gadgets. There was a large dining table and chairs at the far end by the patio doors that looked over the land.

"I love it Lee! I can't believe you did all this." I squealed as I dived into his arms. He caught me with ease.

"It was nothing. It needed doing anyway. Just wait until you see our room. That's the room I did just for you." Leland stepped away from me and went to grab some of the bags from by the door. When I tried to pick one up both him and DL shouted at me. I shook my head and walked up the stairs instead. The two of them were going to to hell to live with if they kept that up I thought to myself.

I was drawn to the room at the front of the house and I'm not sure why. I didn't need to be there. I shouldn't even want to be there but I couldn't help it. I stood looking at the bed and couldn't help wondering if Leland had had sex with her there. I don't know why, maybe it was hormones but I just stood there staring at the bed. That's how DL found me, standing in the middle of his room staring at the bed.

"What are you doing little miss?" he walked around me and dumped his bags on the bed. It was then that he looked at me. "What's wrong?" I'm not sure what he saw in my face but he certainly didn't like it.

"I don't know. I just came in here without thinking and then I couldn't stop myself wondering whether he'd... that they'd... oh you know DL. I was thinking is that their bed? I don't even know why I keep doing it to myself." I sat down on chair next to the window and stared out over the breath taking view. After being surrounded by sea and sand for so long it felt weird to see so much greenery. I was angry with myself then. I'd promised that I wouldn't do this. I had said I would just let it go and enjoy hanging out with him and Duane Lee.

"T, no. Once he fell for you he threw everything out. I mean everything! He even got rid of the god damn floor boards and knocked down a few walls! He didn't want any memories except for the ones he has of you. He decorated every room in a way he thought you'd like. Have you been upstairs yet?" I shook my head. "Just go up there T and then you'll know how he truly feels. You'll see what you've done to him. OK, I can't tell you he hasn't had sex in this house but I can tell you that he has never felt about anyone the way he feels about you. Now get up those stairs young lady!" He pulled me to my feet and started pushing me out of his bedroom door. The stairs going up to what was to be our room was right along the corridor in front of me. When I reached the top I hesitated for a second before opening the door.

The room was absolutely stunning. There was a giant 4 post bed against the far wall so that it was opposite the window. It had a gorgeous white and pink canopy over it. The walls were decorated with what looked like thousands of hand painted roses on a pale pink background. The floor was solid oak with some gorgeous pink rugs scattered around. One wall was covered in wardrobes with mirrored doors making the room look even bigger. There was another door at the far end of the room. As I started walking towards the door it opened and I jumped! Leland came walking out with our empty toiletry bag in his hand.

"Do you like it?" He looked nervous. He wasn't sure what to expect. He had tried to fill this space with everything that she loved. The photos dotted around were copies of her favorites from their apartment. They were pictures of them with his boys, the beach, him asleep on their couch and every single member of the Chapman clan featured in their own portrait picture. Above the bed was an 8ft by 8ft canvas of him watching her sleep. Dakota had captured the moment during their last visit and Leland had instantly loved it.

"I love it. It's not exactly your style though lover." I couldn't help at laugh at the thought of Leland sleeping in here by himself. He was a rock and roll kind of guy not a hearts and flowers type.

"I love it, it made me feel even closer to you, knowing that you love roses and 4 post beds. It's weird but it made me feel better almost like a part of you was here." He smiled sheepishly. "If you tell DL what I just said I'm going to have to beat him into a vow of silence otherwise my rep will be in tatters." He laughed.

"She doesn't have to little bro!" DL snickered as he carried on down the stairs. That's when I realized that I could hear water running.

"What's that?" I headed around him towards what I knew would be our bathroom. He walked with me.

"That, Sugar, is the bubble bath I'm running for you. You can have a soak while DL and I cook. Just give me a shout when your ready and I'll come wash your back and help you out the tub." He spoke as we walked into the bathroom.

"I'll be able to get myself out you know, I'm not... OH!" I spotted the bath which was bigger than our whole bathroom at home and had steps climbing up to it. "Maybe I will need that help." I laughed. I looked around the room which was huge. It had a separate shower cubical and an armchair in it. The chair was angled to look out over the view. You could see the mountains from here. "You spoil me Lee. Are you sure you don't fancy joining me in that tub?"

"I'd love to but I've got to finish unloading the car and cook and then make some calls. I'll take a rain check though." He helped me undress and them lowered me into the tub. It was lovely and hot. It smelt like roses. Once I was settled he jogged out the room and down the stairs. I decided to indulge in my guilty pleasure and put Taylor Swift on my iPod. I tried not to think about him refusal to join her. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the music.

Downstairs Leland and DL were cooking pasta and homemade pesto. "She's so insecure right now, bro. I've never seen her like this before. Sometimes I forget how young she is." Duane Lee looked at his brother waiting for his reply. It took a while to come.

"Wouldn't you be insecure? I shared this house with my wife and countless other women that she's only just found out about dude. She's pregnant so her hormones are in overdrive anyway. She's had to relive some pretty major shit recently and she thinks my whole family are suddenly against us. I think she's got a right to be a little insecure." He was getting defensive. He needed Duane Lee's support right then but it felt like he was about to start scraping at the fragile calm that they had built the last few days.

"Yeah but are you sure there isn't more to it? I mean, you haven't done anything to, you know, make her worry." Duane Lee didn't know how else to word his question. He was trying not to offend Leland but at the same time he wanted to protect T.

"Are you asking me if I've cheated on her?" When DL nodded he continued "No, I haven't. I wouldn't do that. I can't believe you even had to ask!" Leland was getting angry and he took a deep breath to try and control it.

"HEY! It's not like you don't have previous for that sort of shit. You should be glad that I'm looking out for her. Doesn't that show you that I actually like this one? Anyway, she kind of said something that made me think that you might have been doing something you shouldn't have been." Duane Lee wasn't sure if he should have said anything but T was worrying about it and he knew she wouldn't have mentioned it because she didn't want to upset Leland. The stress of it couldn't be doing the baby any good though.

"Oh yeah? And what was that." Leland was genuinely curious. He thought they were getting back to normal so what could be worrying T? He thought about it but kept coming up blank.

"Well, she said that you'd gone off her and that you were behaving oddly. She said you've been distant and haven't wanted to touch her." He felt weird mentioning it but he cared about them both and if she was too embarrassed to talk about it to Leland then he'd suck up that embarrassment for her. "Is it the baby? I know that can be a bit weird but she thinks you've gone off her man. If you don't like having sex while she's pregnant then at least touch her. She needs to know you still want her." He could feel the heat in his face. Leland was way too old to be needing this type of talk.

Leland laughed. "Seriously, she thinks that?" DL nodded. "That's hysterical! I've been torturing myself by keeping away and she thinks its because I'm not into her anymore?" He was laughing harder now but DL was just confused.

"Well if it's not that then why?" He wasn't sure he really wanted to know but he'd already asked the question.

"I was trying to show her that it's not all about the sex. I wanted her to know that I love her for more than her sexy ass. She's been so paranoid that I'm going to leave her if I get bored that I was trying to make her see that she doesn't even have to touch me to keep me hooked." He shook his head then and carried on laughing. He'd been trying to make things better between them but apparently he'd only succeeded in making it worse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**This chapter contains sex and violence. I'm not sure whether it progresses the story a lot but I liked and I think it helps you to understand the characters and what emotional issues T has and what Leland has gone through to get were they are.**

I still had my eyes closed when I shouted for Leland. It was so relaxing and peaceful here that I found myself regretting all of the times I'd refused to come and stay. I hadn't known what Leland had done for me and now I felt guilty. He'd stayed away from here for months because of me and that must have hurt him on some level. He really loved it here.

I heard him bounding up the stairs two at a time and I smiled as I let my imagination show me those muscles working as he pushed himself upwards. I could see his hair bouncing around as he moved and I could picture the way his jeans clung to his legs and ass. I stopped the image then because the real thing came into the room. He sat down on the steps next to the bath. One leg was stretched out in front him and the other was bent as he rested his arms on his knee and watched me.

He drank in the sight of her. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her long red hair floated around her in the water and her eyes were sparkling. They were the same crystal blue color of the ocean on a summers day. He sometimes thought that it might be possible for him to drown in those eyes. Her skin was like ivory and was as soft as a babies skin. She had a cute button nose and an exceptionally fully mouth. He knew she wasn't classically beautiful and he even knew that those features shouldn't have worked on such a petite woman but he couldn't get enough of her. He'd never looked at another woman the way he did her.

"Mr Chapman what are you staring at?" I squirmed under his gaze. It felt like the heat in his eyes was burning into my soul. He was a very dangerous man for me to be around sometimes. He could have shattered my heart into a million pieces at any moment and that scared me a tiny bit. If I didn't trust him the way I did I would have been terrified.

"I'm staring at you. I'm trying to figure out what I did to deserve such a gorgeous creature all to myself." He smiled at me then and my heart melted. He reached around me to grab the soap and kissed the tip of my nose. "There will never be anybody else for me now T. No matter what happens you've ruined me. I hope your proud of yourself darlin'" He started washing my back and I forgot what I was about to say for a second. A shiver ran right down my spine.

"Well actually I am. That was my goal in life and now it's complete. I wanted to make sure that you never wanted anybody except me now that I've succeeded in my evil master plan I'm redundant." I laughed and smiled to myself. It was moments like this that made me remember exactly how far we'd come.

"I wouldn't say that." He kissed my shoulder. "I could think of plenty of things only you are capable of." He kissed my neck then and I leaned backwards so that I could meet his mouth with my own. When he was leaning over the tub I pulled and he splashed into the water with a look of horror on his face. He surfaced seconds later laughing hysterically. "You little minx!" He pulled me against him and kissed me again. His tongue met mine and I wrapped myself around him. I pushed myself against him as tightly as I could while our kiss deepened. When we finally separated our mouths we were both breathless.

"Well this doesn't seem very fair mister." He looked at me confused. "You are fully clothed while I am quite obviously not." I reached for the hem of his t-shirt and slid it up his chest. The sight of his body was enough to make me eager to feel him inside me. When I managed to get that off I was too desperate for him. My hands fumbled with the buttons of his jeans. I was so frustrated that I was almost crying.

"Here, allow me." He swiftly removed the offending item to show me two things. One he was commando and two he was as eager as I was. He pulled me against him and kissed me so passionately that this time the tears fell. "Don't cry baby. Please." He was stroking my back and whispering into my ear. I must have looked like a crazy fool.

"I'm not crying because anythings wrong. I'm crying because I love you so much." I didn't wait for a reply. I simply guided him into me. It felt so good that I had to bite down on his shoulder to stop myself crying out. I could feel him smiling as he drove himself into me. I was pinned against the side of the tub and I had my legs wrapped around his body. He swiftly found a rhythm that pleased us both. I dug my nails into his back as I tried as hard as I could to stay quiet. It wasn't long before I could feel the pressure building inside me and he started to lose his rhythm. I kissed him and let his mouth swallow up my screams as we both climaxed together.

He slumped against me and I could feel his breath on my shoulder. He was breathing hard and fast. "You OK lover?" I was inspecting the neat set of teeth marks on his shoulder. I ran my fingers over them and he flinched a little bit. It must be really sore for him to flinch. "I'm sorry." I smiled sheepishly at him and then leaned over his shoulder to see the red welts running up and down his back. On his shoulder blade were little half moon nail marks filled with blood. "Shit! I'm so sorry babe. I didn't mean to make you bleed!" I could feel myself blushing and he was laughing.

"It's OK love. I kind of liked it. Although I don't think its going to take DL long to figure out what took us so long." He grinned at me then and lifted me into his arms. He carried me back into our room and helped he dress. He threw on a pair of cargo pants and a wife beater. The bite marks and bloody nail marks were clearly visible.

"Look at you, showing off your war wounds! You're trying to make me blush, aren't you?" I went to walk out of the room but he scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder. He rested his hand on my ass to hold me still.

"Does it bother you? I can cover up if it does." He went to turn back into our room. It felt weird having a conversation with his back.

"No it's fine. I mean it's just DL. It's not like we're at home with the clan." Before I even fished speaking he was running down the stairs. He sat me down at the kitchen table and ran off. I smiled shyly at DL and he just laughed. Seconds later Leland was back with a hair brush and my hair clamp. He stood behind me and brushed my hair before clamping it on top of my head. When he was done he kissed my shoulder and turned to take the hair brush back.

"DAMN T! You certainly staked your claim there didn't you girl." DL was standing there with his mouth hanging open. I hid my face in my hands and laughed. I could feel the heat from my face burning my fingers.

"Bro, you have no idea!" Leland walked back in and removed his top. DL burst out laughing when he saw the rest of the damage I'd done. Before I could stop him he was snapping pictures on his phone. Leland was laughing but swiftly put his shirt back on.

"Sorry but nobody would believe me without proof!" The two brothers were cackling like a pair of witches. I was mortified! "Oh T, don't worry about it. That shit is normal in this family. They'll all be so proud." It took me longer to register what he'd said than it did Leland.

"Bra, tell me you didn't just do that." Leland wasn't so amused then.

"You know I can't because that would be a lie." DL was giggling when my phone went off to say I had a message. I picked it up and slid the bar on the screen to open the message. 'Holy Shit T! Was that from the fight or from the make up afterwards? LOL. J X' I felt the color drain from my face. "T what's up? It was just a joke!" DL didn't sound amused anymore, he sounded worried.

"Lee, tell me he didn't." I looked at him but he was glaring at DL. I ran out the back door and threw up over the edge of the back porch. When I was finished Leland was there rubbing my back. "Who did he send that to?" I didn't really want to know but I needed to. I knew he didn't want to answer my question. "Tell me, Leland."

"Everyone. Beth, Dad, Tim, Lyssa, Wes, Eric. The whole team babe." I felt the tears burning my eyes. In that moment I hated DL. Leland knew how shy I was in the bedroom so for me to let go so much had been a big thing. I hadn't thought that that moment in our lives would become family gossip. It made me feel sick even though I had nothing felt to bring up. The bedroom was mine and Leland's. He'd never shared anything we did there with anybody as much as that annoyed his friends and brothers. They'd got to know all of the details before I came along. I had always been special. I'd felt like he was proud of me and that's why he'd kept me for himself and now that was gone. Now I was just like all the others. I was just another one of him conquests now. I knew in my head that I was over reacting but I didn't care. DL hadn't had any right to broadcast that to everybody who mattered to me! I turned and stormed through the kitchen to stand in front of DL.

"I'm so sorry T. If I'd known it would hurt you like this I never would have..." He didn't get to finish because my knee connected with his manhood and he doubled over in agony. Now that I could reach I punched him in the face. He hadn't even hit the floor before I was running up the stairs. How could he do that? After everything that had happened lately I thought I could trust him. Now everyone knew the most intimate parts of my life that they didn't deserve too. It had took me so long to trust Leland completely and now all that work we'd put in had been blown apart.

DL was looking for an ice pack while Leland just stared at him. "What the fuck was that man?" DL was furious. He'd had the crap beat out of him and he still didn't understand why?

"Dude, be glad it was her and not me! Why would you do that? You know how fucking sensitive she is and what she's gone through. On what level did you think that that stunt was a good idea?" Leland's voice was empty. He had no idea how to fix this. It had taken 6 months for him to get her to open up and now one stupid mistake he felt like they were back to square 1.

"How was I to know she'd go psycho! It wasn't like you guys were trying to hide anything from me!" He winced when he put the bundle of ice to his cheek. That girl certainly packed a punch.

"We didn't because she fucking trusted you! She made a massive step to open up around you and not shy away from being open about us and you threw it in her face! She wasn't bragging about what had happened. She was trying hard not to be embarrassed by it. Now she is ashamed of it and that's on you." What else was there to say? DL was an idiot but it had been a mistake. Now he just had to try and figure out how to make it right again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**This is a 1****st**** draft of this chapter. Someone asked me to post it early so I hope you like it but please understand that I may change it quite a lot before I'm finished with it.**

Leland had run upstairs and into their room. He almost hadn't noticed me at first. I was sat on the floor of our bedroom looking out at the mountains. I was hugging her knees close and had my head resting on her them. He couldn't tell if I was crying or not but he walked over and sat opposite me. He made sure not to touch me just in case. He sat there for a long time before I even looked at him. "You OK?" He asked softly.

"No." I replied honestly. "How's DL?" At that point I wasn't even sure I cared but it was polite to ask and I honestly felt bad for Leland. He hadn't done everything but was stuck right in the middle.

"I think his prides hurt more than anything. You've left a nice bruise though. I'm proud of you." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I knew that that's what he had wanted and the least he deserved was a smile.

"I'm sorry I keep putting you through this. You must think I'm a nightmare! I don't know what happened Lee. I couldn't stop myself." I was trying to explain something to him that I didn't understand myself. I knew I'd been angry with DL but when I looked deeper I honestly did love him like he was my brother. I couldn't believe I'd hit him.

"Babe, don't stress out over knocking crap out of DL. That's normal in this family. You aren't truly one of the family until you've been in a fist fight with one of us. He's a big boy; he'll get over it. I'm more concerned about you." I knew he meant that. He was always worrying about me and it wasn't fair. He deserved more than some crazy, neurotic, violent bitch. "He had no right to do what he did and I'm glad you hit him. I love your temper and anger as much as I love everything else about you." It was like he'd read my thought.

"I'll be OK. I freaked out a little but I'm OK now. I think I've realized now that I just don't care what anyone else thinks they know about us. We know the truth and that's all that counts." I shuffled across the floor and slid myself into his waiting arms.

There was a tap on our door a little while later and when I looked over there was a white towel dish cloth tied to a wooden spoon waving around the door. I couldn't help but laugh. "Come in DL. Leland won't let me hurt you." I was smiling then and it struck me again how quickly my moods were shifting.

He came in and crossed the room to sit where I had been moments before. There was already a bruise forming on his left cheek bone. He would have a black eye in a few hours. He smiled sheepishly at me. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be hurt by it. I thought that you would be a bit embarrassed by it but I guess I was a bit of an idiot huh?"

"Just a bit. I don't trust people easily and I thought that I could be myself with you. I thought that I could let you in passed my walls and then you did that. I'm sorry I hit you though." She didn't look at him when she spoke. She was watching the sunset over the mountains in the distance.

"You can trust me T. I know I was a moron and I forgot for a second that you were better than most women. I forgot that you weren't just another girl who wouldn't be around in a week or so. I won't forget again though. I don't think my face could take it. I mean it though, I'm sorry and if I could take it back I would." He was genuinely sincere. He hadn't meant to hurt her; he was supposed to be protecting her.

"It's OK. I forgive you. I overreacted and I shouldn't have hit you. I'm not saying it didn't feel good but I shouldn't have done it.

It had been 3 weeks since Duane Lee had sent that picture to everybody and I was only just getting back to normal with him. Leland and I had been back to normal after a few hours. I couldn't stay mad at him for something that wasn't his fault. That wouldn't have been fair.

We'd managed to round up 11 guys who had jumped on us. Leland hated the fact that I was out of bounties with them but he didn't have a choice because he refused to leave me in the office alone and I wouldn't stay with Duane Lee. It wasn't that I didn't think he'd protect me. I just felt too awkward around him.

We only had 3 left to grab before we could go home. I was 5 and a ½ months pregnant at that point and we wanted to be back home before I hit 6 months. Even though the 20 minute flight wasn't really a risk to the baby because the plane didn't fly high enough Leland and I agreed that we didn't want to chance it.

The plan for today was a trip to the Police supply store in the morning and then we'd prepare for tonight to try and grab 2 of our 3 in one day. It was a big ask but Leland and Duane Lee were the best at what they did and I was good at getting people to trust us. I was huge then; I looked at least 7 months pregnant and people seem to respond well to a pregnant woman. The real test for today would be getting Leland and Duane Lee out of the store before they either closed the store for the night or the boys bankrupted themselves. They spent ridiculous amounts in there. That's why they aren't allowed in without supervision. Today however, I had to supervise both of them!

We'd been at the store about 3 hours and they were already loaded down with an obscene amount of stuff. Leland had bought me a new vest since mine no longer fastened over the bump, new mace cans which included mini ones that fitted in my purse and a new thigh holster since the bump made getting things from my belt awkward. He also had a new flash light, gloves, bb guns, bags, shoes, hand cuffs and even a new phone case. I'd lost track of what Duane Lee was buying. I managed to herd them out the shop not long after though.

We were loading the car up when I heard a familiar voice. "It's her. I wouldn't forget that ass. Trust me." I dropped the bag I was holding and turned slowly. Billy was leaning against one of the stores dumpsters. He was talking to some creepy looking guy stood next to him. I was suddenly furious! I wasn't scared or hysterical. I just wanted to hurt him.

Leland hadn't heard what had been said and I don't think he even saw the 2 men yet. "You OK sugar?" He leaned down and retrieved the bag to throw it in the back with the others.

"Yeah sorry. Come on guys lets go. Please. We've got loads to do." I was trying to keep the anger and panic out of my voice but I knew I wasn't succeeding. I needed to get these 2 away from here before things got ugly. I swiftly text Justin 'he's here. come.' was all I managed.

"This your new lover? I must have taught you a few good tricks huh?" Billy was shouting now trying to get a reaction out of me. He hadn't even thought that it wouldn't be me who would react.

"Is that him?" Leland hadn't turned to look. It was like he was forcing himself not to move. His knuckles had gone white as the squeezed the handle of the bag as tight as he could. Duane Lee was cracking his knuckles and loosening his neck. They planned on fighting.

"Just walk away please. Come on, lets go. They aren't worth it. Come on guys. We've got work to be getting on with." I tried pulling them as I pleaded with them but it didn't make a difference. A part of me hadn't wanted it too and that scared me more.

"T, babe, just answer the question please. Is that him?" Leland had an iron grip on his anger because he didn't want to scare me again. I couldn't bring myself to answer so I just nodded. Leland and Duane Lee turned at the same time and I looked over at Billy in that instant. Even from across the car park I could see the color drain from himself and I watched his friend take off running in the opposite direction. I realized then that he hadn't known who the 2 men with me were.

Leland and Duane Lee started to walk towards him and he kept backing up until his back made contact with the brick wall behind him. I walked with them but made sure I kept in the middle of the 2 men and slightly behind. "How's it? Did you have something to say?" Duane Lee spoke but his voice was full of barely controlled anger. Billy shook his head violently. "Well, that's strange because I CLEARLY fucking remember you shouting something to my sister here. Would you like to repeat it?" Duane Lee was losing his control the longer he stood that close to Billy.

"I said fuck all bra so can you get out of my way now?" Billy took a small step forward but when neither man moved he stepped back. He was cornered and he was getting scared now.

"Care to make me?" Leland growled at him. His fists were clenched because he was fighting for control. "If you can move me with one hit I will gladly let you leave." Leland was teasing him and Billy already knew it.

"Duane Lee, you be ready to grab your brother. I don't want him getting hurt over me." I was hoping that Duane Lee understood what I was trying to tell him because things were moving way too quickly.

Billy swung at Leland and Leland didn't even try to move. He let Billy land a clean blow to his face and it barely even moved his jaw. "My turn." Leland smiled evilly for a split second before pouncing. Billy had expected a blow to the face so had covered up with his arms. Leland took him to the ground by driving his entire body weight into Billy's stomach. Leland was straddled over Billy's stomach and simply started raining blows all over the other mans face and torso. Eventually Billy stopped blocking and thats when Duane Lee grabbed hold of Leland and pulled him off. I looked around and couldn't help smiling. The guys had cornered him in front of the Police supply stores CCTV camera. That's why Leland had made Billy throw that punch; now it was self defense.

Duane Lee had Leland pinned to the car by his shoulders. I looked down at Billy lying in the gutter covered in blood and couldn't help but smiling. He knew now a fraction of what I'd gone through. I strode over and pushed Duane Lee away before kissing Leland. I kissed him with every bit of gratitude and love I felt in that second. He'd done something for me that nobody else had. He'd let me see that Billy really was a coward and a bully. I kissed Leland until I had erased any thought of Billy from my mind. When I finally pulled away he was smiling and I could hear the police sirens getting louder.

"If you 2 have quite finished." Duane Lee put a first aid box down on the back bumper of our car and I realized for the first time that Leland must be hurt. I looked at his face but there was barely even a mark where Billy's blow had landed.

He must have seen me looking because he sheepishly held his hands up to show me the scrapes and bruising all over his fingers and knuckles. I kissed each finger as gently as possible before letting Duane Lee bandage them up. "Thank you." I whispered to them both. I think what had actually just happened was finally sinking in then.

"What for hun?" Duane Lee glanced at me in between wrapping gauze around Leland's hand. "We didn't do anything. It was self defense; although I kind of wish it had been me that the little weasel had swung for." Duane Lee actually sounded disappointed and I couldn't help laughing.

"Thank you to my wonderful man for that glorious display. It was kind of hot watching you go all macho berserker." we all laughed at that. "And Duane Lee, thank you for pulling him away when you did. One because the blood was going everywhere and it stains everything and two because if you hadn't Leland would have been in a lot more trouble."

"Princess, it's kind of scary that your first reason wasn't because I was going kill someone but because me doing so would have made a mess." He pulled me into his one armed embrace then and laughed. His top was covered in blood and smelt really bad. I stepped back away from him and started pulling his top off. "Could you at least wait until we get into the car sugar?"

"It smells like him. I don't want you to smell like that. You aren't like him so it's wrong that you smell like him. I don't like it. I don't want to think about him anymore." I was rambling and my hands were shaking. Leland grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and ripped it clean in 2. He made sure he handed it to Duane Lee in case the police needed it. He wrapped his arms around me and I breathed in deep. I was home. I closed my eyes and I was on our beach as the storm clouds broke. I was safe in his arms.

By the time the 3 of us had been taken to give our statements individually the cavalry was arriving. 2 SUV's pulled up and the whole Chapman clan piled out. Dog, Beth, Tim, Baby Lyssa, Bo, Travis, Justin, Wesley and Eric. Everybody had answered my call and that made me feel warm inside. I checked the time from when I'd sent the text. They'd got to us in a little over an hour.

Baby Lyssa ran to me and tried to put her arms around me but they wouldn't reach. "Damn girl. You got BIG! Are you sure you are only 5 and a ½ months?" She high fived her brothers as she spoke.

"Positive. The doctor confirmed it a few weeks ago. I am 6 months in 12 days." I hadn't realized how big I'd gotten in just a few short weeks.

Everyone took turns rubbing my bump. I felt like a Buddha but the baby didn't care until Leland did it and it kicked. "Our baby knows its daddy." I cried but nobody believed me. They stood there for half an hour trying to get it to move but it didn't budge until Leland rubbed my stomach and he was rewarded with a swift kick.

"Either that baby doesn't like dad touching it's mum or thats one very smart bump you have there sister." Dog was watching my stomach with interest. He'd been wanting to use his native American heritage to predict the sex of the bump since he found out I was pregnant but I wouldn't let him. He'd never been wrong and I didn't want to know.

Eventually the police said we could leave. Billy was going back to prison because they'd found Ice on him while he was on parole but Leland's self defense ploy had worked and he wouldn't be in trouble. The clan were going to stay with us tonight and then we were all heading home. Beth and Dog decided Wesley and Eric could handle the final 3 cases we had. It was a tight squeeze in the house but we managed it somehow. I hadn't realize how much I'd missed them all until then. Even Dakota and Cobie were with us. Maui had been refusing to let us have them until Dog went to pick them up personally. They would be coming home with us for a week or so and then heading back to their mums.

Leland was blissfully happy later that night when the 4 of us curled up on the porch swing with the rest of his family surrounding us. Even the pain in his hands wouldn't bring his good mood down. It felt like he had finally made peace with everything and was happy again. I had my Leland back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Leland we have to go. This baby is coming and I am not having it here so move it!" I was stood by the front door hugging my pillow while Leland ran around getting my bag and both of our phones and chargers. I was only 8 months along so we weren't organized yet.

"Are you sure this isn't a false alarm? I mean you're only just 8 months babe so it could be a practice run. Lyssa had it with Maddy; she was in slow labor for 3 weeks." He was panicking. Beth was supposed to be with us but she was on a plane heading back from Colorado and wasn't sure if her and Dog would make it.

"My waters have broke Leland. Your child is impatient like it's father. I'll call Baby Lyssa in the car and she can meet us there." I grabbed the keys from the side and headed outside. I nearly fell to my knees when another contraction hit but Leland was there holding me up and helping me through it. He got me into the car and locked the front door. I dialed Lyssa and waited for her to answer. "Lyssa I'm in labor and Beth isn't here and I'm scared. I'm not due yet so this can't be happening. I'm scared Lyssa." I didn't even give her chance to say hello.

"OK T. You'll be fine girl. Get Leland to head to the hospital now and I'll meet you there. I'll ring them for you and explain the situation. Just breath Honey and relax. You and bump are going to be fine. I've got to go now though so tell that brother of mine to hurry up!" She put the phone down and I tried to do as she said and relax.

Leland drove as fast as he could without it being dangerous. I think he was more afraid than I was. When we got to the hospital Lyssa was already outside with a wheelchair for me. She grabbed my bags while Leland lifted me into the chair. They took me straight to my room and hooked me up to a monitor. The midwife confirmed that the baby was definitely coming but it's heart sounded healthy and it didn't seem distressed. The tension evaporated from the room. As long as the bump was fine then we were all happy.

Lyssa was amazing and she kept me and Leland sane through it all. Beth arrived about 3 hours after we got to the hospital and even Dog came. I was in labor for 38 hours and Leland never once left my side. Beth and Lyssa took turns to stay with us until the last few hours. It was hell on earth but Leland was amazing.

Eventually our little girl came to join us and she was perfect. She had a full mop of reddish brown hair like mine but she had chocolate brown eyes like Leland. She was small; 4lbs 1oz and could fit in her dads hands. "She's amazing T. Thank you," He was crying and smiling at the same time. The nurse took her to be checked over and everyone was crying and smiling. "I'm so proud of you. I love you."

"Why are you thanking me?" I was still a little bit out of it. The only drug I had used during the whole thing was the gas and air. Now I was paying for it. It hurt so bad and without her precious face to look at the pain was taking over.

"You just went to hell and back to give me an angel. You are amazing and I love you." He was looking at me and he could tell something was wrong. I couldn't even focus my eyes to look at him. "Nurse! Something is wrong. What's wrong with her?" He was shouting now. I knew by the tone in his voice that he was afraid. I was staring into his eyes when everything went black.

Leland was screaming when the doctors came in. Dog and Duane Lee had to physically pull him away from me. He didn't want to let go. They figured out that I was hemorrhaging blood internally and rushed me down to surgery. Beth and Lyssa were crying but Leland fell to bits. He crumbled to the floor and was sobbing when the midwife brought our daughter back to him. Beth tried to take her but he refused to let anyone touch her. "Nobody gets to hold our Angel until her mother has!" He was angry. He wasn't angry at anybody except God. "You aren't taking her God! You will have to take me first because she's mine!" He screamed at the sky.

7 hours later I was out of surgery but still unconscious. The doctors weren't sure how long it would be until I woke up. I had lost nearly 17 pints of blood before they finally stopped the bleeding. If they hadn't gotten to me with a steady supply of blood I would have died. I had flat lined 3 times on the operating table.

The whole family was gathered around my bed. They were trying to keep Leland's spirits up by telling funny stories of their past bounties. Duane Lee simply stood behind Leland with his hands on his shoulders. It was the only comfort he could offer. Leland never once put the baby down. She slept peacefully against his chest without a care in the world. Finally the talking stopped and Leland drifted off into a light sleep. He still had the baby cradled against him. He had taken his t-shirt off at some point so she could lie on his bare skin. He had done it with all of his children because it helps them recognize your scent.

That is the vision that greeted me when I woke up a few hours later. I thought I was in heaven at first. The sun was just starting to rise and Leland and our daughter were bathed in the soft glow of first light. They looked so peaceful and they were beautiful. It took my breath away and my chest ached just looking at them. "Leland." I whispered. I didn't want to wake the rest of the family who seemed to litter every single available space in the room. I reached out and touched his knee. "Lee, wake up darling."

He slowly opened his eyes and stretched. Then he looked at me and the biggest smile lit up his whole face. He was crying when he stood up to kiss my forehead. "Morning sleeping beauty. Finally decided to come and meet our angel huh?" He placed the sleeping baby against my chest and I knew then that I loved her completely. I would die for this precious little thing. In fact I almost had. "You scared me half to death woman!" He kissed me then and I knew that this was my own personal heaven.

Slowly everyone started to wake until they were all crowing round to see if I was OK and take turns holding our daughter. "So what's her name then?" Dog asked while he cradled the tiny little thing in his arms.

Leland shrugged and I smiled sheepishly. "I kind of thought that maybe we could call her Angel Barbara if that's OK? I mean I'll understand if you would rather we didn't but it seems to fit. I had an angel with me to get through all this and I know it was Barbara." I looked around the room and everyone was smiling and crying.

"That is perfect Princess and I would be honored. If I could choose any perfect little bundle to carry that name again it would be this one." Dog kissed Angel then and she opened her eyes and looked right into his. They stared at each other for a long time. it was like they were measuring each others souls.

"I couldn't have chose a more beautiful name." Leland whispered against my ear. he had made me move over so he could sit next to on the bed. He was content. His family was complete now; he had always wanted a little girl and it was perfect that she had 2 older brothers to look after her.

"You did choose it silly. You said I went to hell and back to give you an angel." I snuggled in against his side and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt myself falling asleep again but this time I was happy. It felt peaceful and safe now because I knew Leland would be waiting when I woke up.

The doctors finally let me go home 3 days later. They said I had to take it easy and I couldn't do any heavy lifting for about 4 weeks at least. That didn't seem like it was going to be a problem though since Leland wouldn't even let me make my own tea because the kettle might be too heavy. He took time off work to stay at home with us and even convinced Maui to let the boys fly over and stay with us for a few weeks. They were adorable with Angel and kept promising that they would look after her forever. It brought tears to my eyes to see my 3 men being so loving. Occasionally Dog would call Leland for help and he would go for an hour or two but he felt happy doing that because Dakota and Cobie fussed over me nearly as much as he did.

The whole family doted on Angel but none more so than Dog. He came to visit as often as he could and was constantly holding her and walking with her in his arms talking away. I think he was talking more to his daughter, Barbara, than Angel but that was OK if it helped him then I was happy.

I'd been home about 8 weeks when Leland finally let me go into the office with him. We set up a moses basket in Beth's office and Leland set up the baby monitors. He kept one permanently hooked to his belt. Whenever we had clients in someone was always with Angel; she had her own personal bodyguards. "Lee we need to consider getting her into daycare or something. I'm going crazy here.!" I wanted to be back on the team full time but Leland was fighting it. I love spending time with Angel but I felt like I was losing who I was and becoming something else. All I did was look after the baby, cook and clean. I wanted action and adventure in my life.

"OK." He said and my mouth fell open. We had been having this same discussion for about 4 weeks and he had never even given an inch until now. "On one condition." I smiled. I knew there would be a catch somewhere. "You have to marry me first." I stared at him for a long time. I must have heard him wrong. Leland had always swore that he would never get married again so he couldn't have just asked me to marry him. I knew everyone was looking at me but I didn't care. I couldn't figure out what he had actually said. Leland laughed. He understood what was going on in my head. He dropped to one knee and pulled a gorgeous platinum ring with a single 2 carat diamond out of his pocket. "T, Will you marry me?"

That time I cried. The lump in my throat stopped me from speaking so I just nodded. I had given up on ever being his wife because of what he had gone through. I would have been happy just being with him for the rest of my life but when he slid that ring onto my finger the flood gates opened. I threw myself into his arms and clung to him. He stood up and spun me round and round. "I almost lost you T and I'm not letting you go again. You're stuck with me forever." He kissed me then and I knew I belonged with this my in every sense. We were business partners, friends, lovers and parents.

We were soul mates and had weathered every storm imaginable before we could even admit it to ourselves.

**Just a short note to say that I will be using these characters in future. I just thought that this was a good place to leave them for now.**


End file.
